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For anyone who cares. I am still in california. My sis in law has not kicked me out yet but avoids me like I have the corona virus. Only speaks to me when absolutely necessary.

I had a 1.2 centimeter, thats centimeter not millimeter, kidney stone, obstructive. Meaning it was right against the kidney and wasnt moving. I had 2 options surgery to remove it whole or lithotripsy where they use sound to bust it up. I should have chosen surgery. The machine to do the sound shit comes up from LA to the high desert once a month so I had to wait 2 weeks for that. Then after the procedure the broken up stones got stuck in the ureta and wouldnt move. Urologist called it a stone highway but in latin or something. They were discussing doing a procedure where they would cut me open (arthroscopic?) and use a laser to break them up into smaller pieces. For 9 days all I did was take a pain pill, sleep for 4 hours,wake up in pain, feed the dogs and take another pain pill. I lost 19lbs. Effective but not recommended. On about day 13 following the procedure I started pissing sand and small rocks. This lasted about 5 days along with quite a bit of blood and after that no more pain or sand or rocks or blood.

What this did was delay my getting the frick out of california for 2 reasons. 1. To weak to drive or camp and 2; short of money due to deductibles and medicine costs. Now my plan is to leave the 27th of February. Which is the date of my next SS check. I am loading the trailer starting this weekend. Still will take me about 2 weeks or more to get there as I simply cant drive as long or for as many days in a row as when I was younger and to be honest I still have not completely recovered from that fucking stone

I now have a destination as my cousin's wife is dying of lung cancer and has ask me to come back to Florida and live with him. She ask me so I cant say no. She has less than 6 months according to the Dr's and my cousin and I have always been relatively close. They have a big house so room is not an issue. Whats surprising is that in talking to him on the phone and trying to help him thru this I find that it is actually helping me deal with my loss. Its like my wifes death has not happened for nothing, if that makes sense to you. It does to me anyway. I am hoping to get there before she passes because my cousin is not as prepared for this mentally as I was. I have real concerns about him being alone after she passes, at least for a while.

As for me, I am dealing with my wifes passing a little better each day. I still have my moments where a thought or a song or a picture will cause the flood gates to open and I break down for a while. I just got her ashes back last week so I would have waited for that regardless, even if I had to sleep in a gutter.

I appreciate all of your help, concerns and asking about me. It is a great comfort to me to know that there are people who care. Helps me to not feel so alone at times.

I will try to keep y'all better appraised of what the fuck is happening from now on.
Thanks again and I will be on the road soon.

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